


My Gift to You

by zebraljb



Series: 2019 Advent Ficlet Challenge [20]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Forgiveness, Guilt, M/M, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-25 06:15:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21871423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/pseuds/zebraljb
Summary: Eggsy learns how to work through guilt...and tries to help Harry do the same.Please know that I have had no education in therapy/psychology other than Psychology 101 about 29 (gasp) years ago.  I don't know if this is an actual thing, I just thought that it sounded possibly helpful.As always, Sebastian is fancast as Richard Madden.
Relationships: Harry Hart | Galahad/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Merlin/OMC
Series: 2019 Advent Ficlet Challenge [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1560508
Comments: 5
Kudos: 43
Collections: 2019 Advent Ficlet Challenge





	My Gift to You

**Author's Note:**

> Advent Prompt # 20 - Christmas present

“Wow.” Eggsy stares up at the ceiling. “Always thought this was like some stereotypical thing, lying on a psychiatrist’s sofa…but this thing’s really comfy.”

“When I was hired I was given free rein in the way I wanted to decorate. You’re coming here to decompress, to find yourself. The last thing I wanted was uncomfortable furniture.” The Kingsman psychiatrist winks at Eggsy. “It had to be something I could nap on. And trust me, I’ve napped on that thing a lot.”

“You okay with me laying here?” Eggsy wiggles a bit.

“Aye. I want ye to feel relaxed, Galahad. That is why I’m here.”

“Good luck with that,” Eggsy mutters. “You wanna know about my Da and all? How my relationship with my Mum is?”

“Only if that relates to this mission.”

“It doesn’t.” Eggsy sighs. “What relates to this mission is the fact that I messed up. Innocent woman was killed.”

“Did ye aim for her?”

“No,” Eggsy says incredulously. “She walked where she shouldn’t have…place was supposed to be deserted.”

“I see. So it was nae intentional.”

Eggsy sits up and glares at him. “I said it wasn’t.”

“Of course.” The young man scribbles a bit. “So how are ye at fault.”

“My mission was to infiltrate the office building and get upstairs. Was supposed to bring the bloke in, easy as pie…but it went tits up when that fucking cleaning woman…” Eggsy closes his eyes. He can still see the wisps of red hair falling from her bun, the way her green eyes grew large when she saw him, the O of her mouth as he fired.

“If I read your report correctly, the man you were trying to capture pulled the woman in front of him?”

“Yes.”

“So he put her in harm’s way, not you.”

“Yes, but that’s not the point. I should have seen, should have kept my finger off the trigger.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It IS, Sebastian,” Eggsy insists.

Sebastian stares at him for a long moment before setting his pen and tablet aside. “Stand up, please, Galahad.” Eggsy slowly stands up. “Let’s play a bit of pretend. You pretend to be Agent Galahad, and I’ll pretend to be the cleaning woman.”

“C’mon, mate, this is dumb.”

“I have two Masters degrees and a Ph.D., and I am currently fucking the most brilliant man on the planet. Nothing I do is dumb,” Sebastian informs him. “Humor me.”

“Fine,” Eggsy sighs.

Sebastian puts his hands on Eggsy’s shoulders. “I’m sorry I came back in to finish my cleaning when I was supposed to be gone.”

“I…I’m sorry I didn’t pay attention before I shot,” Eggsy says. He still feels ridiculous, but tears actually spring to his eyes.

“It’s not your fault. I’m sorry I came up to a floor I don’t normally clean.”

“I’m sorry I let that bastard put his hands on you.” Eggsy’s bottom lip trembles.

“It’s not your fault. I’m sorry you have to live with this.”

“I’m…I’m…”

“I forgive you,” Sebastian says, and he squeezes Eggsy’s shoulders.

“I…”

“I forgive you, because it’s not your fault.” Eggsy bites back a sob. Sebastian doesn’t hug him because he is the ultimate professional, but Eggsy can tell he wants to. Instead he squeezes his shoulders again and then reaches down to take Eggsy’s hand in his. He clasps his hand tight and looks into his eyes. “Okay?”

“Yeah,” Eggsy says, feeling like a worn-out dishrag. “Bloody hell, no wonder you and Merlin are so perfect together. You’re both scary as fuck.”

“We have our moments,” Sebastian says with a grin. “We have a little time left…if ye want ye can lay back down and tell me about your mother.”

“Nah, I’d rather get the dish on your boyfriend. He really a bottom in bed?”

“Hello, darling.” Harry pounces on Eggsy as soon as he comes through the front door. “Are you all right?” Harry’s eye searches Eggsy’s face.

“Haz, I’m fine. Went to the shrink, not the guillotine,” Eggsy says with a grin. “Besides, wasn’t it your new rule for agents to see Sebastian after every mission?”

“It was, but I can still check. I know how hard it can be.” Harry gives him a gentle kiss. 

“It was good, actually…needed it,” Eggsy says, and Harry smiles with satisfaction. “Yeah yeah, Arthur was brilliant yet again.”

“I’m so glad you acknowledge it. Please let Merlin know as well.” Eggsy rolls his eyes. “I have dinner ready…I hope spaghetti is acceptable.”

“With your sauce? Aces, Haz. Lemme just wash up.” 

When Eggsy enters the kitchen he’s surprised to see a wrapped package where his plate should be. “Harry? Thought we wasn’t doing gifts until Christmas morning.”

“I know, but I suppose I grew impatient. You bring out the worst in me, darling.” Harry blushes and sits down in his chair.

“Yeah, and you bring out the worst in me…your dick in my arse makes me use curse words I never thought I knew.” Eggsy leans over to kiss him.

“Brat.” Harry fidgets in his chair. “It’s just a little something, nothing really, just a, well, it didn’t even cost me…”

“Harry,” Eggsy says softly. “Relax. Bet it’s great. You always know what I like.”

“This is different.”

Eggsy unwraps the paper and sees the back of a picture frame. When he turns it over he gasps. It’s his father, young and handsome, sitting at the top of the climbing wall on the Kingsman obstacle course. Eggsy has sat on that wall more than once, and he’s shocked to see how much he’s growing to look like his father. “Oh, Haz…”

“Quite soon you’ll be older than he ever got to be,” Harry whispers. “I hope this was an appropriate gift…I know we don’t talk about him, mainly because I don’t wish to make you sad.”

“Harry, you never need to hold back from me, no matter what you want to talk about,” Eggsy tells him, and it’s true. In the short time they’ve been together, Harry has worked to overcome years of hiding his emotions, and the last thing Eggsy wants to do is make him feel like he has to keep from saying what he’s thinking. “I love this. It’s perfect.”

“I know that when you talk about him, see him…I know you’re reminded of what I took from you,” Harry says quietly. “So that is another reason why I do not…”

“Harry Hart…that ain’t true at all!” Eggsy jumps to his feet. “When have I EVER told you that?”

“You haven’t, but…”

“Fuck.” Eggsy rubs a hand over his face. “C’mere, babe. Stand up a sec.” Harry sighs and obliges, his shoulders sagging as he moves to stand in front of him. Eggsy tilts Harry’s chin up, gives him a kiss, and then puts his hands on Harry’s shoulders. “I forgive you.”

“My boy, I know you…”

“I forgive you. It wasn’t your fault.” He looks into Harry’s eye. “You didn’t plan on it.”

“Yes, but I missed it…I should have been aware of…”

“You didn’t pull the pin, you didn’t shove my Da onto that bastard. It wasn’t your fault.”

“But I…” Harry’s voice is full of anguish.

“Harry.” Eggsy cups Harry’s face in his hand. “I love you. I forgive you. But it wasn’t your fault.” Eggsy kisses him. “The gift is perfect, you are perfect.”

“I love you…I’m so sorry.” Harry buries his face in Eggsy’s hair and cries.

And there it is. Eggsy’s been waiting for Harry to finally let this all go; although it’s not something he thinks about often he knows it’s there, just under the surface. The guilt kept Harry from admitting his feelings to Eggsy in the first place, and was one of the things that made him feel self-conscious in their relationship, no matter what Eggsy says.

“I love you, babe. You’re amazing, best thing that ever happened to me. I love you. It’s not your fault. I’m a better man because of you, swear down.” Eggsy rocks him in his arms.

Harry finally pulls away. “Do forgive me.” He gets out his pocket square and wipes his eyes.

“Don’t ever apologize for letting go, Harry. Part of my job is being here to catch you.” Eggsy kisses the tears from his cheeks.

Harry’s thumbs gently brush over Eggsy’s cheeks. “You’ve become quite wise, darling…very mature.”

“You think that now, but I’ll leave my trainers by the door or curse at Grand Theft Auto and you’ll think I’m just a kid again.” But Eggsy smiles. “Sit down and eat, babe.”

“All right.” Harry sits down and Eggsy joins him, taking the framed photograph and leaning it against the vase in the middle of the table.


End file.
